Sunday, January 20, 2008

Frustration on my hands

The problem with working on such a 'thinking' heavy project, like this book project, is that while my body is itching to make something tangible, the step I'm actually at is the one where I sit on the couch and read, and think, and wait for the images to come to me. So in the meantime, it's turning out to be quite hard to channel that need to use my hands into something productive and satisfying. I've already tabled the wax and pith panels, because I just know that I need to leave them alone for a while. I'd left the coffee filter pieces alone for a few weeks for a similar reason, but I tried to work on them last night and this morning. Unfortunately, I can feel that there's something not quite right about the way I'm working - I keep putting the filters together in ways that I know are not going to make me happy in the long run. I still haven't given myself enough time away from them, to have had the next crucial bit of understanding of where the pieces are going next.

And it just occurred to me that the root of my problem right now is that family stuff may lead me to having to take on more hours at work. And while in theory I'm fine with this, because there would be significant trade-offs in terms of money and sharing home and childcare duties, I'm agonized over the idea of losing my Thursday 'off', when Leon is at school and I can do the laundry and the shopping and interweave the whole thing with relatively uninterrupted studio work. So while a part of my brain is telling me to get as much work done while I still can, I'm also so distracted by anxiety over losing my studio time that my ability to work productively is seriously compromised. Bah.

On the up-side, yesterday I did install the first coffee filter piece at the house of the woman who bought it. That felt really good - it was nice to see her again, since she's a cool lady, and I learned a lot more about mounting art on plaster walls. Unfortunately, I also managed to leave the battery charger for my cordless drill in her kitchen, and inadvertently stole her roll of masking tape (sorry!!). So I guess I'll have to figure out how to see her again and exchange objects - I'm going to need that charger...

1 comment:

Parsons said...

oh dear, losing the studio day... that's not good. sorry to hear it. :(
I know what you mean about frustrations though- I've been going through the same thing- can't work because i have to figure things out, and then just feel like I am not being productive, even though the thinking is an important part of things....